Excuse me ma’am … you forgot your baby

I’m kind of forgetful. I leave things like my purse, my keys, my phone … at random places.

I’ve accepted this character flaw, and am mildly okay with it. I seem to be able to survive, no one has stolen my identity or used my credit cards. I always get my coat back, and my car … well, eventually I find it in the Walmart parking lot.

Other people tend to be more concerned about this fact. Especially in light of the fact that I am going to be a mother soon.

In fact, a small but growing delegation is strongly convinced I WILL forget my baby somewhere.

I actually heard a story about a lady in my hometown who did that. She drove off from the grocery store parking lot and left her baby, still sitting in the cart, in the parking lot. I’m not going to name names, because I’m not entirely sure it’s true, but I know the kid and he turned out perfectly normal. And I think it’s perfectly hilarious.

I was at an ag leadership event last week where we had a social hour after the workshops. Everyone was gathered around the bar (me drinking my Shirley Temples) and I set my purse on the bar. I left early, and, being the responsible person I am, found my car keys, found my car, and gave anyone who had been drinking a ride home.

The next morning a fellow classmate presented me with my purse. That I had left on the bar. Of course, I had just made my pregnancy announcement that same day. I’m not sure if there was money exchanged, but I think there were bets on how soon I would leave my baby somewhere.

Someone suggested I temporarily tattoo my kid with my phone number and name, so people can call when they find it. Others have suggested a microchip, like the Pet-24 system, where they can identify its owner by scanning its shoulder. Or the best, getting one of those monkey harnesses – not so the kid doesn’t run off, but so I don’t forget I have it.

I know it’s all in good humor, and I know I won’t forget my baby somewhere.

But just in case, does anyone know where to get temporary tattoo ink …